Friends in the City

Why has our perception of dating gone from falling in love with the perfect guy/girl to yearning for that challenge that they can provide for us? 

I am the most perfect example of a screwed up dater and what I mean by that is if you put a jerk bad boy in front of me next to a sweet nice guy I would not even look twice at the nice guy and go straight for the bad boy.  We have already talked about my certain type of guys that I go for, but that is not what I am getting at.  The point I am trying to make is that every girl steers as far away as possible from the good guys and right into their ‘certain type of guy.’ I am not saying that all girls like the bad boys, but what I am merely saying is that they are 99% of the time not interested in the nice guy that is into them.  Over dinner a few nights ago with some of my closest girl friends one of them told me a story that justifies my point exactly.  She was telling me that her husband’s really good friend confessed he had a thing for her husbands little sister, which to their eyes was a great thing because he was a really sweet good caring guy.  When she confronted his little sister about him to everyone’s surprise she also had a crush on him for years.  They went out a few times and after getting to know him a little more she told her brother that she was not very interested in him anymore because he was ‘just way too nice.’  My point exactly!

Why is it that girls run away from that when the only thing they should be doing is diving head first into a relationship that involves a guy that is super sweet and caring?  A similar situation just happened to me and if this doesn’t prove my point then I honestly don’t know what will.  I have dated my share of bad boys that in the end didn’t give me the time of day I deserved and all I wanted was a normal relationship after all those disasters.  So please explain to me why the hell I am in the situation that I am in now IF IT IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR?  I met this really sweet producer that I used to work with a few months back for some drinks and to watch a Laker game and he ended up asking for my number that night.  We went out with some of my friends one night and after that I was sure he wouldn’t be interested in me anymore because I wasn’t really giving him too much attention or showing much interest.  So a few days later he texts me and invites me to his friends party that Friday and instead of trying to make plans with him I made up a lie and excused myself from that event.  I was sure after that he really would not contact me anymore but of course I was completely wrong.  Two nights ago he text me again and tricked me into telling him that I might possibly have no plans Friday night.  He then asked me to dinner and I replied back that it sounds good but I would have to check with something before I set plans with him. Me checking with something was obviously me calling my best friend and begging her to help me come up with an excuse as to why I couldn’t make it to dinner.  I know I sound like a selfish bitch but understand where I am coming from.  I am not interested in him that way, there was just no spark, the spark that needs to exist in order to pursue dinner plans.  Do guys just not get the hint that a girl is not interested in them? Or do they and does that make them want us more, also known as, the ‘challenge.’ 

Why do we look the other direction when we come across a sweet good guy when all we do is bitch and whine about finding our prince charming?

 

Friends in the City

Why is it that we seem to always stick to one type and make it our default?  I say this because on numerous accounts during conversations with my girl friends, the topic of choice always seems to resort to "Meg why do you always go for the bad boys?"  Back in my early years of dating, haha early? Why am I making myself sound soo old, well you know what I mean, more like my 'stupid in love days of dating', I would have a quick comeback to that question.  But now a days I find myself mumbling a little and trying my hardest to avoid such a gruesome question.  Want to know why I stumble upon the answer, basically because "Who the hell knows?"  

My 'type' if you want to put it that way, seems to indeed be the 'bad boys' well actually to put it in laymen terms 'the low life losers' who need a motherly type of girlfriend which sadly is me.  Since I was little I have always been a leader and never a follower and I think I have just brought that strong trait into every relationship I have come across.  I meet a guy and the first thing I notice is if he is capable of taking care of himself, and if the answer is 'yes' then Sia Nora! Why I do that? I cannot provide you with an answer, unfortunately!  I once dated a guy for 4 years on and off and he was one messed up guy.  When I say messed up, I really mean messed up.  He got caught up in drugs all his life, never had a job or actually could just never keep a job for longer then a few weeks, and depended solely on his mother for everything and anything he could think of.  When we met it was like 'Ohh a project for me, yay!' but little did I know that the project I was soo happy on taking would drain the living crap out of me and pretty much change me in every way possible, and not in the most positive way might I add.  During and after this little project I so called 'the love of my life', I dated a guy who not only lived in a completely different state but who had a kid and was pretty much a borderline alcoholic.  After that obviously didn't work out I then got myself into, notice I didn't put it as 'started dating' because at this point it wasn't much of dating but more of 'What mess can I get myself into next' kind of thing.  Well he was an older fella, in his 30's and so of course the first thing that comes to my mind is 'Finally an older guy who will take care of me for once and will not need me to be his mother.' Wow was I wrong, not only was I extremely wrong about him being older and that means more mature, but he was even more dependable, more so the biggest 'mamma's boy' I have ever dated in my entire life.  On our first date he was drinking pineapple juice with no alcohol at a bar and I thought that was incredible considering I have never been with a guy who doesn't drink.  Gosh who am I kidding? About 10 minutes into the date he tells me that he is a recovering alcoholic and has only been sober for a few months now.  Then I find out he has 2 kids to top it off.  Don't get me wrong, I think having children is the greatest thing that can happen to someone, but a recovering alcoholic with 2 young kids just waves the biggest red flag.  That relationship didn't last long, surprise, surprise, and you want to know why? Well basically I had to mother him day by day and make sure he was strong enough not to resort to alcohol and what do you think happened? He relapsed and all hell went down from there.  

What a keeper these guys were right? So I guess the answer to that golden question everyone asks me is, 'who wants a normal, independent, successful guy when you can have any one of the guys I mentioned and pretty much verbally destroyed in this article?'  Is it for the challenge they provide? Or just pure stupidity on my end? One will never know I guess and in a weird way, I don't know if I even want to know the answer to that question because it might just suck the fun out of dating in general. Reading what I just wrote really makes me sound pretty crazy but you know what, that's ME and so all I can say to that is DEAL WITH IT!

 

Do girls just fall into a pattern of that certain guy-type or do we just settle?

Friends in the City

What is a relationship but nothing more then an experiment.  An engagement ring these days is pretty much just an ego booster for the guy and I say that because I have witnessed more then a dozen broken engagements.  A friend of mine was engaged and after a few years, one late night after hanging out at a bar with her, for whatever reason he felt the need to call a hooker in the wee hours of the night.  After an amazing night, or at least I hope it was, karma kicked in and the hooker decided she wanted my friends shoes rather then her slutty hooker shoes and stole them.  I guess you can call her a "thoughtful" hooker because she didn't leave my friend empty handed, she gave her the shoes she was wearing, her hooker shoes.  We all know how that ended and all I can say is, Karma's a bitch ain't it? Haha

Other examples that I have sadly witnessed are the following: One guy calling off the wedding 3 weeks before because he was scared after being together for years.  Why is it that the scaredness only occurs at the worst time possible? Like right before you are actually going to go through with something in your life.  Why not right before you put that engagement ring on her finger?  Another with the guy living in a different state and after asking for her hand in marriage decides to not return her calls anymore and think that it is okay to just decide, "Hmm I don't think I want to marry her anymore so I will just ignore her calls and she will just disappear, POOF BE GONE!" Sorry hunny but it doesn't work that way.  Of course I have saved the best for last, going to Vegas for his bachelor party and sleeping with a dirty slut the day before he is supposed to spend the rest of his life with her.  Ladies one word of advice, Do not take your eyes off your fiance until he is standing next to you in a tuxedo with that ring in his hand saying "I Do!"  Wait who am I kidding, that doesn't mean anything, ladies your best bet is to just handcuff your guy to your wrist because if you don't then he WILL find a way to screw up somehow and break your heart, trust me, its in their genes.  All I gotta say is "If I'm not your everything, then how about I be your NOTHING!

But the most fascinating part after all these relationships or shall I say disastrous outcomes of this game we call a relationship is that all these beautiful girls are a million times better off now without these 'game pieces' they called their fiances. 

Why do we call it a relationship when it is more like a "game of luck?"