Friends in the City

Who ever said that, you are who you hang out with, is absolutely a genius, in my opinion at least.  The funny thing is that I was thinking about this a few days ago and was meaning to write about it but didn’t have the chance too until today.  After what I saw this morning, I knew I had to share it with all of you.  First off ever since I was in grade school the concept of ‘you are who you hang out with’ was very clear because there was the different groups at school that classified themselves as either the ‘skaters who all did drugs’ or the ‘cheerleaders that were all sluts’ or the ‘the nerds that were all about science.’  You rarely came across the ‘skater who liked science’ or the ‘cheerleader who did drugs’ or the ‘nerd who was a slut.’ Ha-ha get my point?  It really is that you mold yourself into the personality and characteristics of who you hang out with because within that group of friends it seems that only that is what is right and the rest of the people are either ‘not cool, nerds, or just plain old sluts.’ 

            This concept can go both ways though and what I mean by that is exactly what happened to me in my early 20’s.  A few years ago I dated a guy who was known as the druggie in the city we grew up in and so because we dated and were a known couple everyone around us was 100% sure that I was doing drugs myself.  Little did they know that I never touched a single drug in my life or even knew until later that my boyfriend was known for that or even touched it.  During our dating period, I had lost a lot of weight from hardcore workouts and dieting and of course dating a druggie, the first thing that came to every ones mind was that I was doing drugs and that is how I lost all that weight.  It really upset me that just because I was hanging out with him the assumption had to be that I was just like him in all means possible, especially drugs.  But I make my point clearly when I say that in many peoples eyes, ‘you are who you hang out with.’ 

            What happened today that really got me thinking was my trip to Beverly Hills, Rodeo Dr. this morning.  The situation I am about to explain is not exactly what I mentioned in the beginning of this column but still proves my point.  As I made my way to Barney’s of New York I already got the feel for the ‘personality of the city’ by just driving by all the stores and seeing all the cars and people.  Everyone knows that when you say ‘Beverly Hills’ you automatically associate it with ‘rich and snobby.’  Since Barney’s was not open at that time I went and sat at a coffee shop on Rodeo Dr. and people watched for a bit.  As I sat there looking I realized that every single person that I saw walk past me was either a rich looking woman dressed in expensive designer clothes or the rich business man walking up to their expensive cars on their cell phones.  I automatically turned my attention to ‘celebrity radar’ because I was sure I would see Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears shopping because ‘Hello its Beverly Hills!!”  Why don’t I expect to see Britney Spears at the Sherman Oaks mall or Fashion Island?  Which mind you have very similar designer name brand stores.  See my point, it all has to do with not only ‘you are who you hang out with but you apparently turn into the stereotype of the city you live in as well.   

Does one have to be rich and famous to live the life of a celebrity in a city like Beverly Hills or does one just have to surround themselves with the personality of such a type and all else will be molded into place?

            

Friends in the City

Who ever knew that the first thing you would think of when you wake up is not your loved ones or if you have an important meeting that day but your cell phone? Did anyone try and call me while I was asleep or did I get any texts?  It is both hilarious and a bit sad how much a person relies and depends on their cell phone these days.  Back in the day a cell phone was basically a way to communicate with the basic dialing of a contact and being able to leave someone a message if they were not available.  How boring right? Well that is exactly what the world of technology thought, so they came up with text messaging.  What a bad bad idea that text messaging, well bad as in look what it has done to the world, especially me!  I have convinced myself that texting is my #1 choice of communication and that means less actual voice communication.  Not only is that horrible for my speaking skills, lack of speaking skills leads to more mumbling and less understanding, but its very confusing.  What I mean by that is, when you are arguing with a boyfriend or girlfriend and you chose to do it through text it is very confusing and hard to get your point out.  If you type some kind of emotion like “furious” how furious do you really sound by just typing it out.  Imagine how much more “furious” you would sound if you actually called them and said “ I am soooo furious right now!” while raising your voice of course.  So what I mean about how texting really has no good if you look at it in the big picture is that it just involves more thinking and energy then if you were to just pick up the phone and call that person. 

            I have unlimited text on my phone so you can only imagine what that does to me when I do not need to worry about going over my limit.  I used to have a phone that I would have to delete my text after 100 text messages were filled in the box and all jokes aside I used to have to empty the text bin more then 3 or 4 times a day. That adds up to over 400 text messages in less then 24 hours!  How insane is that?   Now my awesome phone has unlimited storage of text messages so I have no idea how many I got through daily.  What is funny is that I talk about how text messaging is a bad thing when I find myself getting angry when people don’t text me instead of calling me.  One person in particular that I have been trying to get into text messaging is my boss.  I know that sounds weird to text your boss but in the entertainment industry communication is done through IM chat boxes, email or text mainly.  Maybe its just because of the rush and how fast paced this industry is and who has the time to pick up a phone and actually dial a number right? Well my boss is a bit old fashioned, which I personally think is awesome, which is why his old assistant told me that she tried to get him into texting so incase he was in a screening or on set and couldn’t pick up he could still be reachable.  But let me tell you we haven’t quite broken him into it yet because I find myself texting him daily and 50% of the time it requires an answer back but I do not get an text and sometimes I get a call back instead and ask me why that bothers me? Haha!  And the other 50% of the time my text messages to him do not even require a text back but I get upset thinking he could just text me saying “okay” “thanks” or something so I know he at least go it.  Anyways the point of my column today is not about text messaging in general but more about how much we rely on our phones to get us through the day. 

On more then one occasion I have found myself driving somewhere and rummaging through my purse for my phone and throwing things out of it because god forbid I cant find it and to my surprise its not there.  Stop everything right now! Meg does not have her cell phone, oh my gosh! So I turn back, mind you half the time not caring if I am late or will get in super trouble for not being somewhere at a certain time because without my phone I CAN NOT SURVIVE! Wow I never thought myself to be the attached type, not with a guy and especially not with a PHONE but sadly the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem so “Hello my name is Meg and I am addicted to my cell phone.”  There I did it, now on to the next 11 steps in the 12 step program in realizing that your cell phone will not get you further in life in any means so try really hard to put it to rest once in a while and see what good it will do in your life. 

When you start to realize that your day revolves around an electronic device, should one stop and wonder if the problem is you or the fact that such a device is capable of performing in that way?  

Friends in the City

Why do some people surrender to the evil of drugs? Is it because they feel they need to step outside the circle of ‘normal’ for a second to regroup? Or is it just a pure sign of weakness?  I ask this question because not only have I dealt with a loved one who surrendered to such an evil thing but also I have been watching many documentaries about actors who have done the same.  Its one thing to watch the story about someone who you have no relation to, besides loving the last movie they acted in, but actually experiencing it one on one is by far the hardest thing I think anyone has to go through.  What is a drug? What does the drug promise one when they cross paths?  A drug is defined as: a substance intended for use in the diagnosis, cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease.  Now, that is the definition of a drug that we all pray and wish was what everyone would use a drug for, but unfortunately that is not the drug I am referring to.  The definition of a drug I am referring to is: something and often an illegal substance that causes addiction, habituation, or a marked change in consciousness. 

            Why would you want a marked change in consciousness when it is already the hardest thing to stay conscious and sane in this place we call “life?”  There is never a day in my life that I don’t ask for help to stay on track and focus on what needs to be done to get through the day but to purposely put something in your system to knock yourself off track and to be basically ‘not all there,’ why?  I was never quite sure what the answer to that question was until I found myself asking a loved one that exact question.  I asked him, after finding out that he was pretty much on drugs for his entire teen years up to his twenty’s.  When he tried to convince me and mostly himself with his answer, I was so saddened by his response. But at the same time I knew that this was going to be the hardest thing I would have to go through and that I would have to be the strong one in the situation.  You are all probably wondering what brilliant excuse he came up with as to why he resorts to drugs on a daily basis, so are you ready for a jaw-dropper?  Well here it is….

“Because I can’t deal with my life right now and it makes me feel sane and normal”

As soon as he told me that a drug, whose sole purpose is to mark a change in consciousness, meaning to make you think abnormally, made him feel normal, really scared me.  I watched him go through weeks of not sleeping at all to weeks of sleeping the entire days away.  I experienced him not eating anything and feeding himself with drugs, which only meant unnecessary weight-loss.  And when I would confront him about his sudden weight-loss he would say that “he was working out at the gym” which is a big fat lie because I spent pretty much 24/7 with him meaning I would have known when he went to the gym, which was NEVER.  I went through more then one night of trying to calm him down and convince him that the person trying to break into his house was only the shadow of his parrot, or that there was no one starring at him through his car window while he was parked.  All these are just awful experiences that no one should have to go through, especially the family. 

I went to rehab with him and tried to understand why someone feels this weak to have to let a drug take over their life and sadly to this day I still find it hard to understand completely.  When I used to get frustrated from his slow recovery or worse his relapse occurrences, he used to try and tell me that ‘I could not possibly understand what he is going through unless I too was addicted to a drug.’  I completely understood that and tried to respect him but what I couldn’t grasp is how a person I always believed was so strong could be so weak to an evil substance. 

Is it fair to say that one who surrenders from weakness is at fault or should we put aside our anger and realize that not everything can be controlled by even the strongest minds?    

                        

Friends in the City

Why can’t planning a move somewhere be as easy as planning a first date outfit?  You are probably wondering why I didn’t say as easy as planning what to make for dinner or planning what club to go to with the girls, but the reason is because I don’t expect planning a move to be that simple but rather simple enough that after lots of thinking and trying different solutions, you would finally come up with the perfect plan, or in this case, outfit! 

            I have personally been trying to plan an escape get-a-away to the fabulous, fast-paced, fashion state of New York for years now.  Every time I get motivated and ready to make the move something comes up that causes, or shall I say convinces me to stay.  The first time I got the crazy idea to move to New York was when I went for a visit there one year with my sister and it was like love at first sight.  From the moment I got off that train and our eyes locked I knew it was love, not lust, but love.  It turned into a deeper love when I stepped foot on the subway and the rush of people, well that’s being nice, actually the pushing of people showed me it was in deed true love.  Since I was little I was always known as the ‘energizer bunny’ so you can see where my love for New York comes from, possibly the fact that I love the rush of the state and the adrenaline that is built up from the energy which is given off.  When I returned from a fabulous trip from New York I immediately told my parents that I was going to move there with or without a companion and you can only guess what was done after that.  Of course I am the youngest of four kids and so my parents did all they could to convince me that after they lived there for 15 years it was a horrible place to live and told me nothing but the negatives of New York.  So only naturally my fabulous get-a-away plan was put on a sad sad hold.  Then a year later my sister and I decided to take another trip over there and this time it was during winter and wow did my relationship with the city get serious after such an experience.  When I came home from that trip I went as far as to purchase books that help you transition from California to New York for that fabulous move, which for anyone’s information, is a perfect way to push you more towards your plan of doing such a thing.  This time, even though the parents were still at it with the negative thoughts of New York, the reason I stayed was because my oldest brother had a gorgeous baby boy who at the time was less then a year old.  One phone call from my mother with the news of my plan to move, my brother was on the phone with me guilt tripping me that I will miss the growth of my nephew and that he won’t know his ‘Aunt Eggy” as much as he will know  and love his “Aunt Nay Nay.”  So of course me being “Aunt Eggy’ I could not let that happen so once again I put aside that fabulous book and rested the plans of moving to New York. 

            I once googled these exact words, ‘Description of New York’ and the following popped up:

New York City is an object of awe, desire, and disparagement, an image both alluring and, often, frightening. A magnet to tourism, it is also home to eight million people of every race, color, and creed.

As I read that my jaw literally dropped because only god knows that I could not have stated my description of New York in any better way then that.  Well actually let me take that back, if you have noticed throughout my rant for my love of New York the one word I used repeatedly, and may I say not nearly enough, is fabulous, so if I was asked to describe New York all I would need was one word and that one word being, Fabulous!

            I am happy to say that my plan for that perfect get-a-away move to the fabulous state of New York is back in action and this time I have found myself a little sidekick who in no doubt I know will love the outcome of this crazy idea we call ‘our perfect first date outfit.’  This time I will not let anything get in my way of this fabulous love at first sight relationship, because nothing should get in the way of love, nothing!

When it comes to love, rather it be for a person or in my case ‘Fabulous New York,’ to what extent should one go to conquer that love to achieve that ‘happy ending?’

Friends in the City

What is wrong with this situation? I am sitting here at 9:37am on a Monday morning in an assembly room wasting away my entire day to see if I get called into a courtroom for a case.  What really pisses me off and makes me not understand this is that yes I am a citizen of the United States and yes I am over 18 and yes speak English but NO I do not get paid to miss work to be here all day.  My whole frustration is based on the fact that there are people that are unemployed, retired, students out of school or just plain bored with their life that would enjoy and love to be part of this thing they call Jury Duty.  Then why pick on the people who work hard and have jobs, especially jobs that do not pay to miss days of work?  Me being one of them who does not get paid and not only that because okay yes I understand that it is my civil duty to be available for such a thing but I am trying to get promoted and move up in my industry and needing to be available for 5-7 days minimum is not going to help me out in any way.  Within the Entertainment industry all jobs are project by project meaning you are lucky to get on a 2 month project and then may be unemployed for months after that before you pick up another project.  That is the exact reason I do not see how it is fair for someone like me who was just on unemployment who finally got a temporary job after gruesomely searching and now has to miss days off with no pay and to top it off makes me look flaky to my employer. 

            As I look around the room right now it is really fascinating how much of a melting pot it is in here.  I see all different types of people and all different ages all of a mixed culture and that is probably the only thing getting me through the day, besides my computer with lovely Internet.  What really trips me out is that when I was filling out my Summons sheet asking me basic questions about my name and employer information and if I have ever been convicted of a felony, I was sitting next to a Chinese man who didn’t speak a word of English.  Of course because this always happens to me, he decided to struggle to ask me for help.  I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to accomplish that knowing that he not only didn’t speak a word of English but he barely understood English.  I went through the questions with him slowly and when it came to the question of him ever being convicted of a felony I hesitated to help him answer that.  When I read it out loud to him he did not understand me so then I thought, ‘Well he is an elder Chinese man that can barely speak English so I am pretty sure that he hasn’t been convicted of a felony.’  But what made me hesitate to have him bubble in NO is that now a days felons and criminals come in all shapes and sizes, basically anyone who you least expect to have committed a felony could easily have done so.  I looked at this man again for a few seconds as he stared at me in the most clueless way possible and I told him nicely to go speak with a jury supervisor because I did not want to be responsible for answering the questions incorrectly.  This is what I am talking about, why ask a man who cant speak a word of English to drive all the way over here to sit down in a room with the instructions being spoken in only English and expect him to be able to sit in a jury of only English speaking lawyers, judges, witnesses, and so forth.  Why not ask a retired person or an unemployed person who would greatly accept the $15/day compensation for participating? Rather then the obvious people who clearly will not benefit at all or be of any help in this situation. 

            What is wrong with our government system these days? Or is there absolutely nothing wrong with them and just everything wrong with the economic situation we have all been put into these past years?  Should all employers pay for jury duty or should the courts only use people that are getting paid?

Is being available at all times for our government the true meaning of civil duty or do we owe ourselves the duty to put ourselves first and do what is right for us?   

Friends in the City

Why is it no longer the older you get the more problems build up in your life but rather the younger?  I am the youngest of four in my family and from a lot of observation of my two older brothers and older sister I have noticed that I have way more problems in my life then they have ever had.  What I mean by problems is stress, financial issues, relationship drama and so much more. 

When I was a little girl and my dolls arm would break off and I would cry hysterically, my mother would always tell me not to stress over the little things and to save it for when I am older because that is when the stress really begins.  As a little girl when my mother would say the word ‘older’ I would think she meant when I was a mother myself, but now I am starting to believe she meant when I hit puberty or pretty much middle school.           

I have a younger cousin who is a duplicate version of me.  When I say, “duplicate” please don’t take that lightly because I definitely mean the exact same person just 7 years younger.  The only difference between us is that she has three times more stress in her life and drama she has to deal with and its not ‘all’ her just being a drama queen.  Don’t get me wrong, she is a bit of a dramatic if you know what I mean, but half the time she is right on the ball with her emotions as far as how much she can truly control the issue.  We talk almost every day and at least once in that conversation I find myself counseling her and trying to calm her down.  As I do that I start to think that I don’t remember having that many dramatic occurrences or that much stress when I was in my teens.  When I look at her and her friends that make up this younger generation I get really worried because they are growing up way too fast.  I don’t know why they are under the impression that they need to be little adults at the age of 16 but all I have to say to that is, PLEASE SLOW DOWN! Enjoy being a kid and enjoy being carefree because trust me kids as you get older it only gets worse.  If I could rewind back to my teen years I would in a heartbeat.  Leave the sex, drugs and rock and roll for when you are actually able to do something about the consequences that occur from them.  Because we all know that getting pregnant, overdosing on drugs, driving drunk and dreaming bigger then your little hearts and minds can control, will only lead to one thing and one thing only, disastrous outcomes that put you in a position that you can not physically get out of.  At least you could not get out of it without either hurting yourself or someone else. 

Is it by choice that we grow up too fast or is it put on a platter and served to us with no questions asked?

             

Friends in the City

In a moment of panic what would you even think of grabbing and running with? What I mean is in a situation like one that occurred to my family and friends last night, my best friend asked me that exact question.  In that exact moment I too was in a slight panic and first thing I could think of was any and all photos that she might have around.  I then told her to grab her computer because we all know now days a computer is pretty much our best friend in the means of it contains our life and knows everything about us.  Next is then the obvious, which is some clothes so that you can at least get thru the next few days comfortably. 

            We spend years building a home with memories and objects of affection and just everything that defines you and your family. Imagine being told that you have 15 minutes to grab a few items and get the hell out.  Where do you start? Wow! I guess everyone has their own ideas of what is important to them and sometimes its kind of a hoot when you find out what people think to take.  Most people grab their photos, which like I always say, can never be replaced, unlike many other items in your house, but others think differently.  My aunt was also in danger last night from the fires and of course she grabbed her photos and valuable jewelry but she also took a container of coffee.  When my mom asked her why she calmly said that without her coffee she cannot function the next morning, which sadly makes complete sense.  Some people just really need certain things to survive, even in a moment of panic.  On the other hand there are the people who lose complete control and grab whatever they see in front of them and just run for dear life. When I heard about the fires, which mind you were very close to my house also, the first thing I thought of was getting my 13 year old black lab out of the house safely.  Funny thing is that my parents aren’t the youngest people in the world so I was telling my boss that I am freaking out and need to get home because not only is my dog old but my parents are elderly too.  I told him that if I don’t hurry up and get there my dog might end up having to help my parents out of the house, ha-ha. 

            During this whole mess of a night I have to give major props to my best friend because she had the whole situation under control, even though she told me that she has never been this scared in her entire life.  She, her dad and her uncle worked as a team and got mostly everything important, valuable, worth taking out of the house, into a car ready to go.  The funny part is that the car they put everything into was not in the greatest working condition so when I asked her how they were going to get the stuff that was in the car down the street she calmly told me that they were going to hope and pray that they could push the car down the street in a safe zone.  We laughed a bit which at the time didn’t feel right, but I feel that laughter is the most perfect remedy for a tragic, panic situation like this one was last night.

When a life-threatening crisis occurs what is more important, your jewelry box or your sanity?